For my children

New Year, new blog post heading. I will TRY, no promises, to keep up so I can tell my kids how I am feeling that day. This morning I was very emotional. It is my dad's birthday, he has been living a long time. 72 years old, he has done it all lived it all and regretted nothing. I saw a Snapchat where he was celebrating the new year 12/312021 with my sister. He left some fireworks go but it hurt me to see him. I mean me and my father have had our ups and downs. We are both Capricorns, which is not beneficial to us, but when I saw him trying to lift his arm it became so apparent to me. My dad is not young anymore, he is fragile but still lives life to its fullest. He always said he is going to die on his terms, but me being so far away from him and not only him my family haunts and hurts me DAILY. I sent him a personalized video of me reciting his poem he wrote for me while I was a little girl. I never have forgotten that poem, nor will I ever. You don't know how much something so small as a poem can affect you as you get older. It is like a mantra of mines now. I just wished my daughter could have experienced what I got, which to a little girl can be life-altering. His father left me but he also live his children behind and I had to raise them. It has been difficult but I wouldn't change it for any price. We have many downs but to me,

the ups outweighed the downs because one thing stayed the same and that is WE NEVER GAVE UP ON EACH OTHER. Yes, we have said hurtful things and done things but with REAL FAMILY none of that matters. Whenever they need me I am always there and vice-versa. I went way off course in so many ways. My main thing is to be GRATEFUL for the people you have and appreciate and the little things you do so you can be HAPPY.